Hedreich Nichols

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…Do I Fit In?

Watch on YouTube or listen on Anchor, or wherever podcasts are heard.

Small Bites Friday Five 10-8-21:

20-30m – Visit the University of California San Francisco’s Youtube page for a phenomenal selection of videos on belonging, diversity and inclusivity. Start with the “Faces of…” series, featuring diverse student stories in their own words.

15-20m – Listen to this Journey to Belonging podcast with Ilene Winokur entitled “Belonging Before Blooms”. As a matter of fact, bookmark the podcast. She explores the theme of belonging and it’s importance with a variety of inspiring educators from across the globe.

10-15m – Visit the University of California San Francisco’s LGBTQ+ YouTube resource center. The 7 minute introduction video is especially helpful for explaining diverse terms and definitions.

5-10m – Read this “Toolkit for ‘You Belong Here’ article from Learning for Justice” (formerly Teaching Tolerance) on the impact of the student-teacher diversity gap in our nation. Helping diverse students feel a sense of belonging means ensuring that diverse teachers feel a sense of belonging too.

0-5m – The stigma around mental health issues impact how we “other”, so once again, visit the UCSF’s Youtube page to listen to Kristin’s story, a story about anxiety and depression. Reflect on how to better include students struggling with mental health issues, both the readily visible and the invisible ones.

“My Kids”

If you listen to teachers talk about their students, they often refer to “my kids”. I too have often said “my personal kid” to ensure that people know which “my kids” I was talking about. I don’t have any research, but I am willing to bet that not caring if kids fit in or don’t fit in is not common in this profession. Still, when kids are asked whether or not they fit in or not, the answers are all too often less than positive. How can we turn that around?

In Finding Your Blind Spots, the first chapter talks all about how we “other”. “Othering” is what we do when we categorize people as different, as the “them” to our “us”. Othering is not Black or White. It’s not male, female or non-binary. It’s what we do when we come across someone who looks, behaves, thinks or even ‘feels’ different. We other the mom that dresses “too sexy”. We other the guy who doesn’t like sports. We other the person who doesn’t get our jokes. And even though we don’t mean to, we other students in our class who are unlike us (or maybe too much like us) every day.

Be Intentional

I can use all the Big Bad Diversity Words and talk about DEI, the ‘isms”, CRT, race politics, or even a “gay agenda”. Those words usually send people off to rantville in all sorts of political directions. But this space is for educators. And teachers, well, we believe that our kids should feel like they belong, full stop. So when some inflammatory headline threatens to pull you in one direction or another, I am asking you to remember that they are all “your kids”.

Creating classroom and campus spaces that welcome every student every day should be the goal. But like with any goal, reaching it takes intentionality. Besides using the resources above, do the following:

  • Consider taking a few of the Harvard Implicit Bias gamified tests to find your own blind spots.
  • Use the above information to make an action plan based on your personal hidden biases (i.e., refer fewer BIPOC students to the office; learn more about the LGBTQ+ community; make more opportunities for non-male students in STEM courses and clubs, etc.)
  • Look at your roster and pick 2 students with whom your relationship could be better. Have a transparent conversation with them, letting them know that you feel you could get to know each other better. Then, make time to get to know them better. Let them get to know you better as well.
Lead the Way

I am well aware that sometimes, it’s not teachers but students who often make other students feel “othered”. Explicit teaching on kindness and humanity are as necessary as lessons in reading and math. Our kids are watching us. They hear what we say and feel what we don’t say. Your disdain for “the bad kid” becomes theirs. Your barely perceptible annoyance comes across loud and clear to a kid already struggling to fit in. Make it a point to check in with yourself. Admit to yourself how you feel about your kids. Then be intentional about changing anything that might cause a child to feel othered.

When you are intentional about creating a sense of belonging for all your kids, when you teach your kids to do the same for each other, you’ll have a foundational culture shift that changes trajectories for your students. Let’s be intentional about creating a sense of belonging for all our kids.

As Ilene says, belonging before blooms.

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Times They Are A-Changin’

Replay of tonight’s live edition of #SmallBites!

Small Bites Friday Five 06-12-20:

20-30m – Watch ABC’s Blackish or Mixed-ish for light fare through a social justice lens.

15-20m – Find the local city council and school board websites and inform yourself.

10-15m – Visit Tolerance.org’s magazine section and read one article.

5-10m– Check your voting status at whenweallvote.org and encourage one friend to do the same.

A Whole Zero Minutes– Don’t judge anyone else’s helping unless it’s doing harm.

– #SmallBites

With the launch of #SmallBites, I have set out to help those who want to create more equitable classrooms and communities. Many, in shock and outrage, are eagerly consuming resources and investing time and energy to learn about and stand against systemic inequities that have long plagued our society. I feel in that energy a world-wide awakening, even as some alte-Garde political and cultural regimes dig their heels in.

We decide if this will be a trend or a moment, if that “one day when the Glory comes” will be sooner rather than later. You can begin with strategies mentioned in #SmallBites. The weekly Friday Five will allow you to keep up the anti-racism marathon by allowing you to pace yourself and not get so overwhelmed that you give up. As you hit your stride, you can create some space to go deeper.

Unfortunately, every problem can’t be tackled only with strategies that take less than 30 minutes. Going to a protest takes a day, reading a book, a few days. Making lasting change for marginalized populations across the globe, a lifetime and more.

To that end, I have had inspiring conversations with white colleagues this week, in particular with Barbara Bray, author of Define Your Why. Those conversations have produced this work in progress that uses Helm’s framework of racial identity to help people identify where they are on the journey to becoming more culturally responsive.

If you find yourself wanting a heaping round of seconds after consuming #SmallBites, open the document, set a spell and sift through the links, book titles and social action sites. Cut on some Brad Paisley with LL (hey, I liked the song!) or Freedom Sounds while you do. Take what you need, leave the rest. This ain’t a clean your plate kind of party. Social responsibility is both necessary and personal.

For now, go fast–because it’s been too long in coming to go slow–but keep a sustainable pace, because we can’t afford to lose even one voice.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, so pop in to YouTube next week for a serving of #SmallBites and follow me on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook.

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I Am Legend

20160924_085158This time I opted for a movie title instead of a song title because I Am Woman just didn’t quite say it all. Parenting in any form is not for the fainthearted. For the solo mom it is nothing less than a legendary feat. No disrespect to the solo dads out there but you all have a cheering public fawning over your every youtube video just for combing hair.  DO WE NOT COMB HAIR??

In re-organizing my life to accommodate work, grad school and 330+ days of 24/7 parenting, I have discovered how amazing I really am and I’m not alone. Thirty-four percent of all households are headed by single parents and four out of five of those homes are headed by single moms. That’s a marked change when compared to the stats of even one generation ago. While the demise of the traditional nuclear family comes with challenges, there are many of us making it work gloriously in spite of having to get the car serviced, take out the trash and throw a football in work attire–usually simultaneously. Making it work takes chutzpah, moxie and a whole lot of creativity. It also takes a village (mine is so AMAZING!) so if you see a single mom, show her some love, preferably in the form of a casserole or having her car serviced!

Solo parenting is a reality for a lot of us out here and it’s a big job. But as one unnamed single mom said on social media, in each moment “there’s freedom, beauty, bravery, strength and grace”. Moms, for all you do, this post’s for you!

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